He let me go with a hug and a kiss and surprisingly I was proud of myself for not sobbing and staining my cheeks and his new shirt with my tears.
He turns his back.
Walks past the sliding doors.
Out of the terminal. The doors shut behind him and Boom!
The waterworks at the Toronto Pearson airport are now giving the Niagara a run for her money.
I hate crying in public.
But my tear ducts give no heed.
All while wondering how weird it is for human emotions to flow out as a salt water concoction.
Why not sugar water?
Or better, salted caramel tears!
Yes that’s sticky but I personally believe salted caramel fixes everything.
Still, they have to flow these damn salty tears.
They make their way from the heart across the most beautiful memories, over plains of love and terrains of meeting again. It’s kind of sad and beautiful at the same time, the reason we cry at airports.
It’s not because we’re actually upset or worried. It’s because we love immensely.
And while love can traverse physical boundaries, I think an airport where planes keep taking off are a harsh reminder of how far you’re actually going to be.
At first I fought aimlessly, armed with tissues and baby wipes. Sniffing away, wiping away, until it felt like someone just swung a huge wrecking ball against a dam and Noah’s flood was back for round two.
At this point I was crying till I began hyper ventilating.
Again, wondering why it got so bad for someone who’s always been traveling since the age of 18.
Just in time he calls me, and I tell him I want to be fine. I don’t want to let go this way.
I want to be strong till we meet again.
To which he responded,
“You are, don’t fight it”
“Cry if you have to”
And cry is what I did!
Right till I boarded my flight. As I watched the plane make its ascent into Toronto skies.
Soon enough it was my just that emotion that redeemed me.
Still stained from the tears but now I reminisced the most amazing time we shared together.
It was the trip that I dreamt of for months and it finally happened!
I was grateful now, more than I was sad to leave.
“Think of how fat we get when we’re together”
He reminds me.
That actually was a very valid point. I might need a new pair of jeans.
“And very soon you’re going to get sick of seeing my face everyday”
Another gentle reminder,
If that’s what he thinks being sick is then I hope it’s a chronic illness. I can’t wait to see that face every day.
“We have it good”
Another constant reminder,
“It’s going to be amazing!”
And I realised the only reason he said that is because it’s just simple truth.
Something so beautiful that I can’t spend any more time being sad.
It’s bigger than goodbyes and bigger than oceans.
It’s bigger than the distance, bigger than what we know.
“It’s going to be amazing”
“We have it great”.