Memoirs of a helpless mother.

Just 22.

Her skin was supple and her heart was full.

She had stars for eyes and her lips spoke of nothing but love. She bore in her an unborn spark of magic, magic that would make her a mother.

When she looked at her little baby girl all her dreams came true.

All her wishes, fulfilled.

All her doubts vanished.


“Your baby is sick”, they told her,

“Your baby has a hole, a hole in her heart”

She slowly felt the universe closing in on her, her mouth went dry and she gazed into her baby’s eyes.

“I’m sorry my love”, she said to her newborn child.

She blamed herself even when there was no one to blame. She took her baby home, not knowing when she’d lose her.

From then on,she held her broken child every night and cried till her tear ducts ran dry. Her baby, small and frail went through surgery and treatments.

How much can a little body take?

How much can a young mother endure?

Her little baby, was scarred and pierced, sewn and stitched like an old jacket, fragile like a dandelion, a single whisper of the wind could shatter her bones.

Years later, this baby still stands, strong, 19 and accomplished.

 “I’ve never had a hole”, she thought

“Mother filled up my heart, emptying hers”


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