4 am musings

Every night, we fell asleep with our fingers interlocked and my head nestled in the curve of his neck and every morning we woke up apart.


The warmth of his body, no longer against mine.

Deep down I knew, that the future would be this way too our love would fade and we would drift from each other.

Tonight was no different, the nasty chill of winter’s air woke me up at 4 am.

I looked at him. He was peaceful, he was calm. Asleep on his side with palms folded, tucked under one cheek. I wanted him close, I needed  the heat of his body to be pressed against mine but he was far. Distant. Unattached.

The same thoughts haunted me again. “When will it finally end?” This world isn’t kind. It will break us. I loved him so much that the fear of losing him was inevitable.

Just then, from the depths of his sleep he sensed my silent cry. He felt my body gently trembling from the cold and from the fear of maybe losing him someday.

So with his eyes still shut, and one hand still tucked under his cheek he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me close. He held my head close to his heart. He pulled the covers over us. Eyes still closed, he groggily kissed my forehead. He didn’t say a word.

In that moment I experienced bliss. He rescued me from the labyrinth of doubt that I trapped myself in.

Maybe 10 years down the line he will still be mine. We could still be in love. Maybe he’ll even be there to pull me close like he did tonight.

And In that moment I knew our love had the power to survive .


2 comments on “4 am musings

  1. joycemildred says:



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